so a few weeks ago my boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me. everything is my fault though, i did something i shouldnt have. i kissed another guy..i know i know. its horrible…but when he found out, he told me everything would work out and we would always be with eachother. but 2 weeks later, he TEXTED me and broke up with me. i lost the love of my life…and possibly my job. i havent SIed in almost 4 months…but i really want to! i was so close to buying more tools last night… but do i really want to do it? im too depressed and i feel like i deserve pain for what i did to my ex boyfriend. im failing school…i have no motivation. i want to self harm so bad! someone please help…

the other day last friday, i was sexually assaulted. again…how could this happen again?! why am i always so vulnerable? i feel so alone all i wanna do is sleep but i cant sleep…