I’m trying my hardest not to self harm it’s so difficult though. I finally came forward to my friends that I have been self harming again and they blew me off. Like I was some kind of weirdo or freak.. I try texting them no reply I try calling no answer. Just Nothing. I feel more alone then ever right now. I just want things to go back to the way they were before I started to self harm.. I just need to learn how to control my urges to Self Harm and learn to deal with everything in a different way.  My boyfriend tells me everyday that he loves me no matter if I mess up and self harm again, he doesn’t think less of me.  He says he understands what I am going through though to me he doesn’t. He doesn’t self harm.. He is always so calm, he never loses control like I do. I made a promise to him today though, that I would stop self harming, I want to keep it too him so bad because I don’t want to do this anymore. I lose friends and family over my habit.. So I am going to slowly break out of this I will. I know it won’t be easy but I am determined to do it. I just have to take it one day at a time.