Right now i am fighting the urge to SI…..i was at a soccer game….its the most social event in mexico city. Its the first time i go there. The only problem is that the girls who bullied me also were there. (Oh btw its 3 days long). I spent the whole 3 days avoiding them. Then, when my brother arrived yesterday the urge grew….. Everybody likes him better…..even my mom, and i know so, she told my aunt. All MY friends followed him around, and i ended up alone. Everybody preffers to be with him. Being alone is dangerous for me, since i get the chance to be alone with my thoughts. I know people would be sadder if Miguel was gone. So yeah. But the urge went from just being there to making me to other things. It knows im fighting injuring, so i began doing it different way. I am in the car with my dad right now. He begab yelling at me the moment i got in the car. He didnt even have a valid reson! But anyways i yelled back…..he threatened me. I know he didnt to it because my mom said if he ever hurt me again she would ask for a divorce. My parents’ marriage is holding by a thread. I dont even care. He is hurting my mom emotionally. I know its inappropiate to say so, but they aren’t close at all anymore. I reaally dont care, because want to spend the littlest time with my dad possible. I need to get home….its been 24 days….i want to SI…..