So…it is Monday and I’m sitting in my apartment that I share. With my boyfriend. I’m in recovery and will have 90 days clean on the 25th. I also have 34 days SI free. I am taking this medicine that is supposed to help stop urges to SI and urges to use. I think that it is working for the most part…however, no medicine is a cure-all. I’m feeling some kind of way and I keep thinking about SI lately. It almost makes my stomach hurt and almost brings me my knees. I hate this feeling and I want to give in, but I know the repercussions of the situation. Trip to the ER and a mess. Sometimes I hate this addiction, yet I love it so much. They say there is a fine line between love and hate. Life is pretty good though. My boyfriend has a 4year old little girl and we see her 2times a week for overnights. We also have my two dogs with us…Lily and Bella. I attend IOP, therapy, individual sessions with my counselor, and attended my Med appointments regularly. Its not like I don’t keep busy, sometimes I feel like keeping busy just isn’t worth it! Sometimes I feel like waking up is a waste of time sometimes, too. Anyways…if you have feed back please throw it my way.
sounds like you are similar to me-but first well done on 90 days clean and 34 days si free x I only been 9 days dry and 19 days si free.Proud of you.As for sleeping and no point waking up or staying busy i must have slept 80% of the time for the past 3 weeks cos i thought i’d no fight left and didn’t care anymore but i can now slowly feel myself coming back-hang on in there and if you feel like sleeping just go for it it’s your body’s way of saying it needs a rest-if you got friends/family round you be honest with them(i found that hard at first)you’ll be amazed how supportive they will be.I always thought i had to put a front on for other people but that became too hard and they became aware recently of my si cos of hospital visits!My 3 grown up kids who were last to know(still rather they didn’t)still treat me with respect.We can’t help how we feel at times but sounds like we are both doing our best to fight it-so if you feel like sleeping just do it your body will let you know when you have had enough sleep-and whatever com pared to drink,drugs and si who can condemn you for sleeping -some can but i can cope with being called a lazy cow!LOL take good care and keep up the good work x
India-Mae. Thank you so much for your feedback. I really took it to heart! I think my body does need some rest and I plan to do just that!
Congrats on 90 days!That’s encouraging, I’m 52 days clean today. I’m also taking a medication to help the urges, and attending all kinds of therapy, IOP. In the past 52 days I’ve had one slip up with self injury. For me, a lot of my self injury was directly related to my substance abuse. Not all, but a lot. You’re doing great, just keep being honest with yourself and honest with those around you. Best of luck! 🙂