So…it is Monday and I’m sitting in my apartment that I share. With my boyfriend. I’m in recovery and will have 90 days clean on the 25th. I also have 34 days SI free. I am taking this medicine that is supposed to help stop urges to SI and urges to use. I think that it is working for the most part…however, no medicine is a cure-all. I’m feeling some kind of way and I keep thinking about SI lately. It almost makes my stomach hurt and almost brings me my knees. I hate this feeling and I want to give in, but I know the repercussions of the situation. Trip to the ER and a mess.  Sometimes I hate this addiction, yet I love it so much. They say there is a fine line between love and hate. Life is pretty good though. My boyfriend has a 4year old little girl and we see her 2times a week for overnights. We also have my two dogs with us…Lily and Bella. I attend IOP, therapy, individual sessions with my counselor, and attended my Med appointments regularly. Its not like I don’t keep busy, sometimes I feel like keeping busy just isn’t worth it! Sometimes I feel like waking up is a waste of time sometimes, too. Anyways…if you have feed back please throw it my way.