yesterday was my birthday (yes i was born 9/11). u would think that people would treat yo better when its your birthday right? well that wasnt the case. i woke up a little later than usual, on saturday, although i knew my cousins were coming over…. i was ready only a few minutes before they arrived. the moment they enetered my house, after they said ih to me, they went up to my brothers room.. it is really hard to feel good about myself when people preffer my brother even on my birthday. theyre not even his age! they spent the whole afternoon ith him, even though i had invited them. i tried to stay possitive, but i started to get an urge to SI. i kept wanting to SI. i had been dreading that day for about a week, because i knew the moment they went up to his bedroom i would be feeling upset all day. we didnt talk all night like we used to. the sleepover was lousy. the next morning it was my birthday. the garden was a mess (thanks to my dog) and my mom forced me to cleen it (even though im the onlyone who ever does it) and kept yelling at me for not having wanted to hug my sister. everyone stared at me as if i was an ungreatful pain. then, i was using the computer, and my littlest sister came and started bugging. she wanted the computer. she kept reacing up to take it from me, and when i told her not to, she struck me. i am now grounded for “not being a good sister” but she wasnt even yelled at. shes ten she can be grounded and get over it. then my family came over. i didnt want that. because it was dad’s family and they always find someting badabout me. i was sad the whole day. my cousins left early, so my mom had plenty of time to say how ungreatful i am, se said so infront of everybody who was left. i have made the impression at my new school that i am a happy person that is always possitive. but i hate not being able to tell people how i feel…i hate not being able to cry. i cant cry at school because i had to sign a contract, and im not allowed to show any sighns of depression. and i cant gry at home cuz my mom and sisters make fun, and find ways to make me feel bad about myself. i woke up feeling awful, and two hours before i was suppsed to, so of course i was in a bad mood. she kept yelling at me. she picked me up fron school today because i am grounded and am not allowed to walk now. she told me i was ungreatful and tp get out of her house the minute i trn 18