i cant help this feeling….the feeling that i am useless and have nothing to live for… every time my life seems to make a right turn, the is something (mostly someone) who makes me feel small and worthless. i know people will comment saying “someone out there loves you ” and “many people would be sad if you died” but i have to think for myself…..i need to figure out what makes me happy…..nothing makes me happy anymore…not even babies….that used to bethe thing that kept me going…but my dad had to come and say i would be a terrrible mother… yes i know im 14, but thats always been my dream. that was untill i discovered marriage isnt forever….got to go to school now……didnt get any sleep last night….
I know it’s really hard to feel good about yourself, especially when the world around you seems determined to make you think otherwise. I’ve been where you are now, and I know how hard it is to come out of it. It’s possible, but you’re going to have to fight hard for it. I think it’s silly to go through life thinking that we have to find some sort of ‘use’ for ourselves. Who cares!!!!? Your purpose is to LIVE! And if you think there’s nothing to live for, you’re so wrong. You don’t have to live for some great purpose… you can live for simple things too. I’m going to start preaching now 😉 You can live for something as simple as warm towels out of the dryer, sunny days, whatever. You’re 14! What’s so wrong with just living for the sake of living? Find something that makes you happy, maybe a sport, reading, writing, painting, music. ANYTHING! And as far as feeling worthless…I’m so sorry for that. Nobody should feel like that, and especially someone so young. All I know is that you have to find that feeling of worth for yourself. Take a serious look at who you are. I promise that you’re not worthless. To be honest, I’m a college student and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life yet, but it’s okay! Nobody I know does either! I know that someday I’ll find my calling in life, I just need to be patient. For now you just need to be happy. The world’s a difficult place and nobody is perfect. There are thousands of people just like you that feel lost and worthless, believe me. You just have to fight. You have to know for yourself that you’re smart, beautiful, fun or whatever else you are. It’s hard, but I know that if these TRUTHS come from you, nobody can ever take them away from you, NO MATTER WHAT. I wish this was easier for you, but you have to try. I’m still fighting everyday to be happy. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but I just keep getting up everyday and fighting, because I know that there are people just like us that need to have somebody fighting for them. So maybe that’s something to live for. Fight each day knowing that there are thousands of people like you and me that can look to you and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how small it may be at times. Please fight, give it everything you’ve got. I know you can pull through, and it’s so worth it in the end. Good Luck (let me know if you need anymore cheesy pep talks, I know I need my fair share!)
PS. My parents have been happily married for 30 years… It absolutely can last forever, just make sure that forever is with the right person. Ignore your dad about being a bad mother, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Get some sleep!!!!!!!!