i just can’t maintain i have been in dbt 4 times and its just more comforting to sh then it is to do that stuff. my husband is sick of me so so so sick of me the more angry he gets with me the more i sh i HATE MYSELF SO MUCH I C AN’T STAND IT I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR OVER 15 YEARS THERE IS NO WHERE EVEN ON A BOARD TO BE SAFE! I DON’T CARE MUCH ANYMORE BUT APPARENTELY ENUF TO WRITE HERE BUT DOUBT I GET AN ANSWER IT SEEMS MOST DON’T O WELL WHATS TEH USE
Hi Jan –
You are right, although many people post on this site, often times no one answers or adds comments back. It’s not that no one out there cares – I think that people who self-injure & engage in other self-destructive behaviors are so completely overwhelmed with their own struggles, issues, and emotional pain that they have a hard time being empathetic and reassuring towards others. Not to mention that people worry about saying the “right” thing, which can make them hesitate to respond.
Writing here, whether anyone responds or not still serves a purpose. You are choosing to cope with your feelings in a productive way when you write – sometimes writing can help you keep impulses to self-injure at bay long enough for your anxiety level to come back down after a spike. So, my 2 cents would be to keep writing here or any other place on the web that you think would be open & supportive – can’t hurt and might help 🙂
Don’t lose hope! I was a self-injurer for many years (along with other self-destructive behaviors: heroin addiction, alcoholism, unmedicated Bipolar Disorder, eating disorder, etc.) & over a period of about 3 years, with the help of the SAFE program, I was able to learn how to sit with thoughts and feelings that were once almost unbearable to me. I learned that talking about my pent-up feelings directly, even scary things like anger, abandonment, & betrayal often went much better than I expected, and even when my feelings got hurt, the damage wasn’t so terrible.
I know, easy to say but hard to do 🙂 Still, don’t give up hope – everyone has the potential to tap into hidden strengths and wisdom and find a path out of the darkness. When I was self-injuring, my world was almost unimaginably small; by breaking free of those restrictive self-imposed chains I was able to discover just how much wider & deeper my life could become. You can too. I wish you a peaceful evening.
Kelsey