I don’t know what to think anymore. I wish I could form opinions and articulate what I want to say to people but I can’t. It’s so hard for me to just be able to express my feelings and everything. I recenly got subscribed medication for depression and I want to say it is working but I’m just not sure. I still get thoughts of Si and all of the issues with it. Like, right now I want to. Even though it’s the middle of the day, I want to do it. I used to be so happy when I hung out with my friend and her child but now it’s almost exhausting. I mean I still love it and everything but it hard to keep up a good mood. She wants me to move in with her when she gets a job, and I think it will be so awesome to be around that child all the time but it will be tiring and I don’t know if I am mentally capable of handling something like that. And then it means I would have to get another job to pay for rent, etc. and that stresses me out and scares me a lot. I don’t know, family has been stressing me out lately and I am not dealing with it well at all. I hope later on I feel better, so I won’t get the urge to SI.