Its been a while since ive last SI-ed, and i owe it all to music. My ipod never leaves my side. With out it, i have no idea how i’d survive. Its a distraction from life. It doesnt judge, and it always knows how to make me feel better. Where i live everyone hates me. The neighborhood consists of less than 15 houses, and all but three hate me. They will go out of there way to torture me. I’m called all kinds of names. I used to believe these things, well i still do sometimes. Only when i have nothing else to think about. The thoughts just fill my head and dont leave. I act on those thoughts. But not by SI-ing, by guys. If i am a slut, whats there to lose, right? I let guys use me, and i feel disgusting, but i just let them. They say they like me and love me and blah blah blah, i know they are lying. I dont care though. I havnt had a relationship with a guy that ment something in a long time. and when i do i mess it up, because i get scared. i hate that. i need to change, but i have it stuck in my head that i am that person they say i am. I dont want to be her. i want people to know me. Everyone refuses to believe me. That makes me sick. I hate myself for everything ive become. Music is my only escape from those feelings.
Hey! Music is the ting that keeps me going too!!! When I go to school:iPod on, earphones in, blast the music!!
Music sort of helps me keep my head straight! Some time ago, my iPod crashed and I completely lost it!! My brother fixed it and everything was alright again! 🙂 Every time I feel like SIing, I turn on my music to full volume. It’s like it keeps me sane..
In a way we’re alike. I get called loads of names too, and the people in my street just totally ignores me. I’m the outcast, the little weird emo girl that always wear black. When people told me I’m emo, I became what they said I was. I became the emo girl (though I never told anyone that I SI) and when I met someone I’d say, “Hello, I’m Emily, I’m like a emo chick” but every time I said it..it hurt me inside. I was labeled for a long time and I still living with the emo name.
You are who you are, not what people say you are. Thee are people in this world, that survives from others suffering, and when they know they’ve hurt you by name-calling, they’re satisfied and they’ll keep doing it.. But we have to learn to block out their words or just to blow it off. That’s what my fave band taught me 🙂 Be who you are and that’s that 🙂 I’ll paste what the lead singer said to you! 🙂 stay strong, and hold on to your music 🙂
“Life isn’t about how popular you are… What girl or boy you are dating or who you know. Life is about always being true to who you are or what you believe in. Never let anyone convince you that their way is better than your way. In the end all we have is our hearts.. and our minds. This is the reason we sing.. this is the reason we cry… this is why we live.” – Andy Biersack
Listed, life isn’t bad. Life is good, you just have to make it that way and You have to be able to find strength within yourself to rise out of the darkness. I mean anyone that can find something, weather it’s artistically or in their mind or whatever, you could find something to find a way out of the pain that you’re in. – andy biersack
So listen closely,
And don’t stop working,
No one can tell you who you are (the Legacy – Black Veil Brides)
We are young and we are strong
Through strength in self we become
Something more than they can be
I raise my heart and sing!
That I wont believe this lie
When all there’s something more inside (Sweet Blasphemy – BVB)
I agree with complicated-little-one. I’ve been shunned all my life and bullied for what I am am what I like, ever since I was 11 music was my best friend, and it still is, it has stopped me from SIing on Many different occasions- so yes, I believe in the power of music- if it helps you, stick with it 🙂
I think music is a powerful thing, very powerful. But there are still problems that we need to deal with. I’m not a super human or anything and I love my iPod as much as the next person, bit sometimes I feel like there has to be something more than a band or a song, dont get me wrong, a lot of songs and bands have saved my life, but I still have to deal with the problems. I think that everyone needs someone to talk to, someone that won’t judge you based on your thoughts or actions. If you want to talk, please email me. gdaem@live.com
Hope. Help. Recovery.