I posted yesterday, and yet I’m back again today. I haven’t SI’d in three days, but the tug is still vibrantly there. Last night I was begging for someone to say I could break down and do it. All any of them did was tell me ‘No’. I didn’t last night but I desperately want to this morning. I just kind’ve want to sit there after, then curl up and fall asleep…. Away from sorrow and horror. But no I must be strong. Always strong.