ive been SI for about a year and a half. ive tried to stop many times, but every time i try i feel worse, instead of feeling good about myself. i got help. im seeing a therapyst every wedneday, but i HATE her. she doesnt even knows im depressed. i dont have the confidence to tell her. my parents dont know i SI. i told a friend once, but it only made things worse, since it turned out she wasnt my friend. one day she got mad at me and told everyone in our grade. i had to transfer schools because people kept saying bad things to me.  i hadnt thought about doing it since 7th grade, but now i often do. i hate my sister. thats another problem, because my parents think i shes a saint. my brother is the best thing that could have happend to me, but when i decided to tell him i SI he stopped talking to me. so now i wonder if life is really worth the pain im going through. i mean i know it is probably less pain than most of the people who go on this website, but it is enough to make me wonder who would miss me…my family wont, of that im sure. im alone at the moment, since there is nobody i can trust not to judge me. i hate this feeling.