I just found out that a friend of mine attempted suicide right after I talked to him last night. It opened my eyes more to my past behavior. When I felt the helplessness and frusteration, and the feelings of ‘one day he really is going to die’ and wished there was something I could do, but knew there wasn’t, I realized “O man, this is how I made my family and friends feel when I was attempting and injuring.” Here I was needing their love and support, but why would they want to have a close relationship with me if they could get a phone call anyday that I was gone? I didn’t realize how much I messed with peoples hearts without even knowing it. I love my friend, but this is not the first time he has done this, and he always talks about it, I’m so afraid that one day when I text or call him it won’t be him and I will get the news I dread. The same way my friends and family must have used to have felt about me. But meanwhile all I can do is just try to be a good friend to him.