I haven’t been here for a while. It’ll be two months since I SI’d next week. It feels like longer.

It’s weird how somehow I find the way to control the urge now. I still feel it. I feel it a lot sometimes, but I can’t imagine having to have to go back and do this all over again.

It’s so strange that I read a magazine article about SIing and it made me want to SI. It made me want to so bad I almost did. That’s the weirdest thing to me. How could such a harmless magazine article that was trying to stop SIing, make me want to SI myself again. That’s why this is such a perfect place to go, because it is really “trigger-free.” I feel better after writing here because it doesn’t make me want to SI. It makes me want to get better.

So thank you anyone who’s reading this. And there is a way to get through this. I’m not entirely sure how to now, but I’m on the way to finding out.