doing the substance thing. one day used too much that i ended up going to bed in themiddle of the day because i couldnt’ drive. I have sh’d for many many years. am not doing that right now. am getting out of aa. i’ve been using substances for about a month i guess. my husband says tell no one. so i don’t. its drivin me nuts keeping this secret! Its medical usuage but i’ve went past that point. i just needed to vent. i’m not really having the self loathing so much like the last 2 months ago when i severly sh’d.
I think you’re husband needs to let you talk to someone! the worse thing you can do is keep things bottled up, even getting your feelings out here is better than not at all. It’s really good you’re getting help with some of these things and I hope things only get better for you 🙂
Maybe your husband hasnt experienced hurt before, or maybe he has, but either way, the way to feeling better is to talk about it. It sounds like you are taking the right steps to recovery but you arent going to feel completely better until you face your feelings. A counselor who isnt in your group of peers is helpful because they truly are someone who wont tell anyone that you know (so your secrets are safe). I really think you need to talk it out.
stay on the path you are on – you’re doing a great job!
Today I am on substance. I just want to be left alone and rest as I am so tired. I have kept myself revved up all week to accomplish what I had to accomplish and now I just want to let it be……..you know the music by the beatles>?
process and xfm i think you have given me sound advice. i don’t know where i’m going but i bought a vehicle i can’t afford and i pray for work next week. i think i will call a friend and see if she wants to go to an aa meeting.