doing the substance thing.  one day used too much that i ended up going to bed in themiddle of the day because i couldnt’ drive.  I have sh’d for many many years.  am not doing that right now.  am getting out of aa.  i’ve been using substances for about a month i guess.  my husband says tell no one.  so i don’t.  its drivin me nuts keeping this secret!  Its medical usuage but i’ve went past that point.  i just needed to vent.  i’m not really having the self loathing so much like the last 2 months ago when i severly sh’d.