doing the substance thing. one day used too much that i ended up going to bed in themiddle of the day because i couldnt’ drive. I have sh’d for many many years. am not doing that right now. am getting out of aa. i’ve been using substances for about a month i guess. my husband says tell no one. so i don’t. its drivin me nuts keeping this secret! Its medical usuage but i’ve went past that point. i just needed to vent. i’m not really having the self loathing so much like the last 2 months ago when i severly sh’d.