I am just over two months SI free, and I know I should feel good but I just don’t. I still want to SI more than anything. I was hoping that my attempt to stop would somehow make me happier but it hasn’t. Every single day I want to SI, the only thing that’s stopping me is that I made a promise to someone. A promise that I WILL keep, because if I ever break it, I will do something very bad. I won’t let her down. No matter what I feel, I won’t let her down. I made a promise.