I just wanted to write a quick post; next monday I will be three years SI free; three years SAFE. I never imagined as I got on that plane to fly to SAFE on 8/8/08 that my life would have morphed into what it is today. I reflect back on my time at SAFE and although it was one of the most vulnerable times in my life; my time there was everything it needed to be and more. I still STRUGGLE; I still have ‘OFF’ days; but Im slowly learning that life is full of ups and downs; and that in itself is OKAY. One of the big things for me looking back was learning how to ‘just be’; how to sit with whatever I am feeling; identify it; give it a name…and get through it. It still is extremely hard at times to recognize how Im feeling; and I even have a hard time admitting things that ‘help’ ease the stress of day to day life. In going to SAFE I dropped out of nursing school; and now three years later; I have two semesters left of nursing school; the most amazing semester for me was my mental health rotation…I got to spend a lot of time with children and young teenagers that were hospitalized for various reasons. It was the most amazing feeling being able to give back; to be a source of nonjudgmental support and the gratifaction that came in return was so fulfilling. my ultimate goal is to become a psychiatric NP in the years to come.
Without SAFE I would not be where I am today; everything in life is still a work in progress but Im ‘doing’ it; one step at a time.