wow….. i cant believed i never realized…… i have “friends” my own age and only one or two know about me si-ing, no they know about one time and they think that i k=never did it again. But talking to the girls in my youth group, … and accually getting close to them to where they trust me, …….. 4 of my closest friends have si-ed before 1 still does, and i never knew, some had done it before we met or before i started……. i feel so bad how i never noticed…. i was stuck on my pain, but never noticed theirs, and the worst part in my opinion, all these girls were raised in church and still go…. im feeling better, havent si-ed in over a week but theyre starting to fade and im afraid that it will trigger me. so i pray for strength to not give in, and for my “friends” to hold strong. i feel bad that i still dont trust them but thats just another thing i have to get over. oh well…… All i can do is try and take it one day at a time. so here i go……. awaiting the next suprise.