I have quit injuring. Now I have been temped with eating behaviors. At first I gave in I wanted them so bad, accually I have been temped with them on and off since I was a teenager, just hardly ever acted on them. Then I decided I didn’t want to go down that path. I found what I thought was a happy medium, but now I have found when I do the right thing and don’t act on the ed behaviors, it doesn’t feel right. It feels icky. I talked to my counselor. Trust me I didn’t want to, I wanted to keep it hiden. But we talked about trying to counter some of the distorted thoughts I have, but that feels icky to to accept my self fat? To accept myself a failure? It feels good to be si free, but I don’t feel good about myself when I don’t have ed behaviors. I don’t feel good about myself when I do have them either though.