4 years ago on this very day I committed myself to taking bold steps to improve my life, the way I deal with the day to day, with my SI, with my past, and to try to make my life more bearable including reducing the triggers in my life that do get me on the fast track to SI.
Life is about choices, I don’t think that’s breaking news to anyone, some days you make bad choices or mistakes. In this society there is a ton of pressure to be perfect. I have learned not to allow the pressure of perfectionism to define me. If you succeed… great, if you fail… it is another opportunity to get it right.
I am no longer employed, this is by choice… My choice on how I need to feel, What I need to do to help myself deal with the day to day, and improve my quality of life. I gave up my broadcast position because my employer don’t care about the employee, all he cares about is how much money he can put in his pocket. Which is completely not the correct way to do things when the people who help you do that are treated poorly and abused emotionally. I got tired of being the “Doormat” for the company’s front door.
I have moved on… Believing that out there, there is a form of employment that will help me grow further than I have ever grown as a person.
I am still very patiently waiting for SAFE to bring back the Adult Intensive program. I remain committed to it’s “No Harm” contract, and being I will not see a provider here due to the lack of properly trained SI therapists here in Wichita, Kansas I have chosen to go at it alone, until the day comes when I can refresh some of those skills I have learned previously at SAFE back in 2007.
I reflect back to the positive memories, life changes and growth I have made since attending SAFE. Albeit, it’s still a work that remains in progress. But, many positive things have come of it and I continue to look forward to the day when I can get to the roots of the issues and make bigger strides.