I started S.I.ing about 2 1/2 years ago. It started with one momentary lapse. I swore I’d never do it again because it didn’t seem to help at all. After time I realized I started because I don’t know how to deal with stress. I have ptsd(post tramatic stress disorder) from when someone I knew was murdered. I thought I was over this S.I. when I’d stopped for almost a year. I slipped up again though without even realizing what I was doing. I injured and did not even knowing why. I was just angry. I now found ways to distract myself when I feel tempted to S.I. but what I don’t understand is why would I even get an urge for it? Why is it addicting? Why am I addicted? I think I have control over it now but I wonder if this will be a struggle for the rest of my life? I know God will help me fight it and I know I need to talk about my feelings but sometimes I wonder if that will ever be enough? I WILL overcome this someday I just wish I never started. Well what I’m saying may not make any sense but I felt like talking to someone about how I feel and what I’m thinking. Peace out. God be with you all!