Hello,
I am a mom of a SIer. I love her very much and have done all I can do to help. We have had a very rocky year. We moved from one state to another to help her graduate high school but 6 weeks before graduating she dropped out. We were living with family members who had very little tolerance with what she was going through and could not handle the fact that she SI. We had to move back to the state we came from 3 months ago. We have gone to counciling, she did not want it. She was even in a outpatient program for 3 days in the other state. She said it really didnt do much for her. We are very close. I know why she is doing this but she does not want help for it. Last week, She left and moved back to the state we were in to be wth a guy. We stay very much in contact and I wish I coul get her to work on the things that pain her. I know I can not fix her. Can anyone give me some feed back?
With all due respect, I think that your attitude of trying to “fix her” might not be the best angle to go from… Have you told her that you understand what she’s going through? If my mom were trying to help me, I think I’d mostly want her to be understanding and supportive- but also I would need space. I think maybe that’s what she needs a little of too. She needs your love and support as always, but she might need a little of her own space to figure things out for herself, since you said counseling wasn’t working for her. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, then she shouldn’t be forced. The worst thing you can do is try to force her into something (in my opinion) because then it might turn into a battle of wills, which will not end well for either party.
I’m no expert by any means (I’m only 16), but I think the only thing you can really do at this point is support and guide her, as I’m sure you’ve been trying to do. (Try exploring this site a little- it might give helpful insight into how you’re daughter is feeling.)
Hi BigSis thanks for the post but if you really read what I wrote I said I KNOW I can NOT control her. I have done lots of research and talked to many who SI. I do see that she needs space and that is totally fine with me. I want her to figure out what she needs to do. I just wish she would be taking better care of herself. I can not give the whole story on here but she is not in the best of company. Anyway thanks so much for taking the time to answer me.