I’m 27 years old.  My husband and I have been together for 7 years. We have no children. I am a very responsible person, I tackle problems head on and I don’t shy away from responsibility. I take the lead and I make all the decisions. I am not an easy person to life with. I have depressions and my mood swings can be extreme. But I try my hardest. I take my meds. I try so  hard. I have issues with trust and with being intimate with him. I have no history of abuse or any negative experiences with regards to physical intimacy. But I feel that I cannot give my body to someone I don’t trust. And I dont trust my husband. He lies to me rather than facing up to things. He’ll go out for beers with his work friends and leave me home alone, sick as a dog. He’ll chat with women he’s met on line but wont try and make conversation with me. On Saturday morning I found an sms he’d sent to someone I dont know. It was a picture of himself. When I asked him about it, he said it was nothing and I shouldnt worry about it. I took the number down and called it. A young woman name Leigh answered. I hung up. I tried to call hubby but he wouldnt take my call. I sent him a text saying that either he tells me whats going on or I phone the woman again and find out for myself. He called back and told me he’d met her in a chat room. I asked him if he thought that was such a good idea, and he said “probably not, hey”, then hung up. He stayed out all day, went to a motor show on his own – we had plans to go together- and only got home after 11pm on Saturday night. Even when I’m angry with him, I still wait up for him, I still worry that he’s ok. He doesnt even let me know that he’s alright. So by the time he gets home, my nerves are finished. We have a huge argument, shouting and screaming, and blaming. I ask him to tell me whats going on, whats wrong, I say I cant fix it or try to fix it if I dont know whats wrong… he says its because we arent intimate often enough.. I just stood there and stared at him. I confess that I did then fly into a sort of chaotic fit and locked my self in the bathroom… I havent hurt my self in years… But Saturday night I’m afraid I inflicted injury upon myself…. Is it all my fault? Should I sleep with him just because he’s my husband and its my wifely responsibility? I give so much, I hide notes in his lunch, I bake cookies for him to take to work…. all I ask is that he mow the lawn instead of leaving it till it looks like an Amazon Rain Forest… and that he fix the car so that it doesnt leave me stranded alongside the road all the time… he doesnt bring his side at all… but I’m expected to sacrifice such an intimate special part of myself?  What do I do ? I love him…but I’m tired of being taken for granted. I cant allow another episode like Saturday night.. Once I start I really struggle to control myself… I’ve just found a job that makes me feel good about myself…I cant hide my injuries forever…