I have an eating issue my mom found out and told the world back in February. Today i ate what she cooked but then after she had me eat pizza i feel like she doesn’t understand how hard it is to change it. I’ve tried to tell her and get her to understand but all she can ever say is how crazy i am and how i belong in some mental hospital. She told my family and then my family has been asking me all the time whether i’m eating telling me how bad that it is and how crazy i am. I SIed today and i tried fighting it but i couldn’t any more. My mom started to control me and i feel like i have no control any more. My good day went back to a bad day i’m climbing this mountain of recovery and i fall back all the time. The counselor at school tells me it’s apart of recovery because to become a masterpiece it takes time. I now feel like this is impossible… how long will it take for me to just stop. I’ve been doing this for 7 years ever since 5th grade and now i’m 19 and just finished high school Friday and graduating in a few weeks. Why can’t i deal with things the way everyone else deals without SI…What’s wrong with me and why am i such a disappointment to my friend. I hate myself today. I don’t know what else there is to say.
You’re not a disappointment. You’ll be okay. all of us here believe in you! 🙂
Remember that you are amazing and wonderful. Remember that your mom doesn’t control you. You’ve been through a lot, and I’m not saying that anything is gonna get better anytime soon, but I believe (and so does everyone else here) that you can get out of this. Nothing is wrong with you, we’re all the same here. Try not to hate yourself and have those thoughts, that will just fortify your urge to SI. Bake, listen to music, talk to a friend. Use everything you’ve told me to use. I believe in you.
Thanks guys. The thoughts has caused me to just be really down today. I baked today and listened to music and slept. My friend’s trying to ask what’s wrong with me but i refuse to tell her and disappoint her.
It’s okay, as long as you have it out to someone. You can tell her in time if you choose to.
does it make me a bad person or friend by telling her i’m okay when i’m not? I’m starting to feel like not telling any one any more because i don’t want to have to see the worry on her face. i don’t know i just wish i can fix this one problem in one day.