i try but always fail. i let people down constantly and sometimes i wonder why do i even try? nothing i do is ever good enough and the dreams i once had of ever becoming someone are crushed over and over by those surrounding me. i want to go out and make something of myself  just to prove all those people wrong and show them that im better then they think yet im starting to doubt my own ability to do that. why do people tell you when your young that you can grow up to be whatever you want to be but then as you get older they tell you, you have to settle because your not good enough. people view my family as the screw up family and some of my friends parents judge me based on what choices my siblings have made. my family does that too and so theres this constant pressure on me to not be a screw-up but it seems the harder i try to be perfect the more of a screw up i become. i just want to go back to being that little kid that thought dreams came true. reality stinks! i just wish i had someone to belive in me so i could start believing in myself again…