I called out of work today. How can I be so irresponsible. My hours have already been but down and I so need the money. We barely make it by as it is. It just felt impossible to get out of bed, to do anything other than eat and self injure. I ate pizza last night and I feel so gross. I can’t even look in the mirror. I’ve self injured today.  What is wrong with me today ? I feel completely worthless, and even more terrible that I am laying in bed. It’s so NOT out of laziness, it’s just the thought of getting dressed, doing my hair, driving to work and actually working that feels impossible. What am I going to tell my gf when she gets home? I so hate this version of me.