I want to get help so badly. I feel like I NEED to SI myself now every time I’m upset. Nothing is worth anything anymore and I feel like I’m never going to be happy again. How will I ever tell anyone…How will I continue living like this…

The feeling I get when I SI is almost relief. When I’m crying and I SI I stop crying almost completely and when I stop I start crying again. It’s almost like my bodies programmed to enjoy it.

All I want is to be able to smile, and mean it again.