Tomorrow would have hit the 2 week mark of being clean and free from SI. I screwed it up and i don’t know how i’m supposed to feel about it. I wanted to SI friday but i resisted the urges no matter how strong. Today i just thought a lot about college and all these projects and presentations i have to do. I started to freak about the fact that i’m graduating high school soon and i’m scared and stressed. I tried holding out i started yelling at my mom because i was just fighting temptations that she doesn’t know about. She started telling me how i’m never gonna find a boyfriend with that attitude and blah so eventually i broke. I’m sorry and i’m really upset at myself. I don’t know what to do i mean the counselor at school told me as long as i tried to resist and did but eventually relapsed it was okay. It was only okay because it meant i was fighting the urge. She told me everyone made mistakes and if i did it again it just meant i had to jump back on my feet and try again. To me it means weakness it means failure and disappointment. She says i’ve made progress why don’t i see that? Why is this so hard to get over? I started when i was in 5th grade and i stopped then started again last year and stopped for 6 months then started again my senior year. What’s wrong with me? Why try so hard if i’m just gonna fail..:(
everyone makes mistakes ive stulld w. simce 13 im now 22 off and on you are not faliure. its hard thing to overcome im sure been thrw alot to do that i have
but everytime i try and stop something happens and it causes me to do ot again. I have lasted 6 months from june-dec without SI and then i went back and since march i’ve stopped for 1-3 weeks and then went back. I guess that’s better than how i use to do it.Right ?
Dont give up I sied for about 2 years and im only 13. Today was my 77th day of being si free it took me a long time to be free for a long period of time. I know its frustrating but dont give up.
Congrats on being 77 days SI free… i hope i can get there.