I SI again. For the first time in two years I felt relief like always, but only for like a minute. Then I felt worse than I did before. Tomorrow the guy I like and I are having lunch together and I’m telling him. Im so scared, but I need more support, and he really wants to help. I need to get better, for both him and I. But I feel like such a failure for doing it again, after all the progress I have made. I’m so glad I have actual motivation to stop!