I have tried for years to find out what being “Perfect” means.

Elementary school was probably some of the hardest times of my life, as I remember.

I am very overweight for my age, and I feel… excluded. I feel like my parents favor my other siblings more than me.

I have always been pressured by my family to has great grades, and I have always met their expectations.

My father has always been harder on me, and it is because I am the oldest.

My grades are dropping. I can’t sleep. And I have started to SI.

I feel empty inside. I feel hollow. I feel unwanted.

I can’t bring myself to tell my parents about it, it would break their hearts. And I love them too much to do that.

But I don’t know what to do, or where to turn to anymore.

I know that I need help, and I WANT help.

But I have no one to turn to.

Why is this happening to me? Why can’t I be perfect? Why do I have to SI to feel… okay?

Please, can anyone help me?