The one thing i want to do i’m using every strength i have in my body not to. My brother knows that i SI now and his first reaction was questioning whether or not he can trust me to be home alone any more. He text me wondering what i was thinking and the only reason he’s asking is because he’s worried after finding out i SI. I get that he worries but i just want him to look at me the same i don’t need him looking at me like i’m crazy i mean he did say i can be placed into a hospital for this. I started off with a good day and with that text i ended with me rushing out of school and driving home because i knew what i wanted to do. I needed to be home so i can have the choice to do it if i need to. Senior year is almost over and senior skip day keeps getting reschedualed but now prom is this week which means everyone is gonna see my scars. I have projects due in a few weeks and graduation .. this should be the best part of my life but i’m stressed and feel like no one understands. I started wearing short sleeves … and i felt like everyone was looking when i know it’s not true. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin again, i want to not have these anxiety attacks or impulses to SI. I’m trying to hold out right now but i don’t know if i can last. I just want to give up i haven’t SIed in a week and i want to give in to this urge i have right now.