I feel like i am constantly hiding…both literally and figuratively…not really from anything…i just dong want my secret to get out…

you see i injure myself (though im trying not to)…

i hide my injuring  from everyone…i hide it behind my smile and underneath my clothes…

no one suspects a thing…i still wear my shorts and and short sleeves…

people dont realize just how badly their words get to me or see the many scars i have given myself…

you see im really trying to stop but i let everyone else think im ok when im not…behind my quiet smile and underneath my clothes…

I sometimes wonder wat they would think if they found out, an answer i hope to never see…

because even though i SI(trying not to)i dont want to show my family and friends…they would think it was for attention…but they dont see the real pain(mental) and anxiety…im going through…

i guess i should tell my family or at least my dad though i dont want to tell him why and i dont want him to get frustated or scream or shout or any of those things…i just dont wanna hide it any more…because if i dont tell him he may find out on his own…though i am afraid that he will think that im stupid or ignorant or something…

My family thinks that i should have it under control and have nothing to be crying about, but they do not see the pain i feel inside…

i guess they would rather me cry though than SI…but watever….

i just needa to say this to get it out of my system…thanks for reading