Yes i admit it i SIed last night and i’m sorry. Explain why i feel this urge to do it again. I’m panicking just because instead of doing it i’m writing on this but i really feel like i have to. I’m stressed i feel like this disconnection between my dad and i and he came to visit Sunday and i felt like he doesn’t care. I mean he did tell me i was not his first priority. My mom expects so much on me and then there’s this kid in school who’s bugging me. He has written a fb status about me, put something in my hair, pretty much told me to stand in front of the door so he can slam open the door to hit me. It’s not only those things it’s the fact that the counselor at school sent that refferal to the therapy and i’m waiting for them to call then there’s senior skip day coming up and prom and i can’t have my scars be noticed and feel talked about. What’s wrong with me why do i feel this HUGE urge to do this when i already did it yesterday for almost the same reasons. Maybe it’s because i’m stressed about the whole guy at school bothering me and i’m scared if i tell he’s gonna make things worse for me. I want to SI and not doing it is starting to freak me out. I’m not strong i’m weak for doing this i’m weak for thinking this way. I just wanna run and hide. Why do i have these great days and then all of a sudden a single thought ruins it. I want this feeling to go away because if it doesn’t the tensions going to build up and i know what’s gonna end up happening.