I have around scars on my body and all because of me. My senior skip day is friday and it’s at the lake which means my scars are going to be out in the open. School counselor says they’re not really noticeable but i’m scared that someone in my class is going to point them out. If they do i wouldn’t know what to say because they’re too obvious for me to just say ” my cat attacked me.” I don’t want to stop because i feel like i HAVE to SI. Then what if my mom finds out what am i going to tell her … i promised myself she will NEVER know that i do this because she sees this perfect daughter who does great in school and doesn’t do bad things. She’s so proud of this “perfect daughter” that if she knows i’m not as perfect as she thinks then i’ll just be a big disappointment. I’m temped all the time almost every day and it’s scary because i hate my scars and they make me hate myself twice as much.. but then again i can create another scar because it’s this relief on me. I don’t understand myself any more and i just want to feel normal because i don’t feel like i am right now. When i want to SI i have no one to turn to because then i worry my friend who does know and i don’t wanna worry her. I just wish i didn’t feel emotions because that’s what causes me to do this when i’m angry i take it on myself because i don’t have the words to take it out on them. I do it when i’m sad too i don’t understand myself at all any more.