I started an anti-depressant. I’m not sure if it’s completely working. I kind of just feel like all of my emotions are just muffled. It makes me feel really nauseous and incredibly sleepy. When I miss a day I get really sick I end up sick to my stomach and sleeping all day and crying all  night.

It’s pretty bad. I don’t know if its helping. I always think about SIing but then I’m just too tired to move.

Maybe that’s good. It’s just scary. because what happens when I don’t need the pills anymore?

Will I just relapse?

Will I fall back into something worse?

Who knows. I just need someone to tell me that I’m not going to falter. Someone to relate to…