I feel fat all the time now. I look in the mirror, I feel fat. I sit down, I feel fat. I eat, I feel fat. It makes me want to s.i. again. But I don’t. Everybody always tells me, ” your not fat!” “your super skinny” “your perfect the way you are.”     If I hear these things a lot, why can’t I believe it myself? I don’t understand what is wrong with me. I need to do something, but what? I want to restrict again, but I can’t beause then I end up eating my feelings. I go back and forth though. Some days I do want to eat away my feelings, others I want to stop eating so I can feel the pain. I just don’t know what to do anymore