I feel like I can’t get out of this pit I’m stuck in. Like all of my emotions and thoughts center around one thing and that one thing is SI. I feel like I’m fighting depression. I’ve had to deal with it in the recent past. Maybe I just haven’t really gotten past it completely. I’m so confused. Is counseling a good idea? I’ve never tried it before but my boyfriend says that maybe it would help. I’m just so scared. What should I do?
I feel the same that all i can go to is SI all i wanna do is that. Counseling isn’t bad i’ve been going through school counseling and soon Outpatient counseling. It helps teach you new skills. I was nervous when my friend dragged me in but when it was said i felt like a huge relief was off my shoulders. It’s scary i know i’m scared to go through outpatient but i think we can do it.
My mom doesn’t know about my SI problems. None of my family does. I’m scared about being such a disappointment to them all 🙁 and i feel like if I tried to go to then my mom would find out. =/ i’m terrified.
therapy does help alot..it has helped me alot. i would definetly recommend it.
Yeah my family doesn’t know either and i’m terrified too that’s the one reason i haven’t told my Counselor at school that since talking to her i have SIed. But don’t think you’re a disappointment i mean i feel like that too but you’re not we just have different ways to deal with things.
how do i go about getting therapy or counseling?
well my friend dragged me to the school counselor who friday faxed a paper to an outpatient place for me even though i wasn’t happy about it. You can search it up and look for it online for your area.
I don’t want to go to the one at my school because I don’t want my friends and people who see me on a daily basis to figure out that something is up. But if I go to an outpatient place I don’t want my mom to find out that I’m going there. i just don’t know what to do. Or if I really need to go. asdlkfjasdf. i’m confused.
well if you go to the school one you don’t have to tell your friends you can just say it’s personal or something. People see me leaving my 1st class every thursday to go but it’s not their business where i go. Outpatient i’m hiding from my mom because my dads the card holder or subscriber or whatever it’s called and he’s in Boston and it’s not gonna say on the bill why i’m there.
I guess my best bet would be to go to the one at school. I’m just so scared. I don’t want some lady i’ve never talked to before to start judging and making assumptions about me. Even though they say they won’t do that I feel like they still do.
I felt that way. I was dragged to the counselor on thursday my friend left me there i didn’t say anything but the counselor KNEW something serious was up. My last meeting with her she told me she that day even if i never said i SIed she knew because i was so nervous. Then she made me see her the next day because she wasn’t gonna let me avoid it. That day my friend came i sat down of course nervous like you have no idea haha. She gave me a talk saying it’s okay and that it’s safe to tell her. My friend turned to me to tell me to tell her and i couldn’t form the words out of my mouth so she did it for me. I thought i would be judged and looked at different since i’m known to be a good student and blah blah blah. I wasn’t looked at differently. It’s a scary thing and each meeting i have with her is still scary.
I think that’s how I would be. I would be scared every time I went. I just don’t know how to go about getting help I guess. Cuz i’m too scared to go up there myself because there is till part of me that doesn’t want help and doesn’t want to go AT ALL. =/
Like me and wishing my counselor would just forget. I don’t even wanna stop.
Exactly. But we only have a few weeks left of school. So i’m kind of thinking, is it even worth it to get something started?
It’s worth starting.
it really is worth starting, having resources to go to doesn’t that you have to crunch down and stop right away that second. Obviously we all should stop but the pressure to stop right away is too high and it gets triggering. But to have a resource to go to for help makes you feel more stable and you feel less confused. It is definitely worth it i promise you that
Maybe it’s good that we only have a few weeks left. So that if it’s not right for me i won’t feel bad for not going.
no you should definitely go. I promise you things will feel better. you’ll be able to breathe again, it’s like a weight taken off your shoulder
That’s what i was thinking.Especially because i just screwed up… When does school finish for you?
May 23rd. So just a few weeks.
I get out May 27th. So what are you going to do? See the counselor or find one on your own?
I think that my english teacher saw my most recent SI today. So, I think i’m gonna see if she says anything tomorrow. It’s really scary to think that my own teacher saw it. I really hope she doesn’t say anything to any of the other teachers. I’m just scared =/
It’s hard to hide it too though like you tryy soooo hard to hide it. Well give me updates if anything happens. Did she react to it ?
Yesterday I could kind of tell that she was looking at it. I felt so anxious and thought I was gonna be sick. I’ll go back today and see if she says anything. I’ll for sure give you updates.
Any updates?
I think that she saw it again, but she didn’t say anything. I think I caught her a couple times.
are you scared that she’s gonna say something?
Yeah, I really am. I get soooo anxious in there now. Like my heart seriously feels like it’s gonna beat out of my chest and i shake a lot and feel so nervous. I don’t know what i’m gonna do lol
Well you need to relax and just don’t think about it. Whatever happens happens i mean you know that right?
Right. One of my friends told me today that after awhile of talking to the person at school they send a letter home with you and you have to get it signed to be able to come back and talk to them. (that is if you are SI’ing) and I can’t do that because there is no way I could tell my mom.
yeah because i’m 18 i was able to sign in myself.
Yeah I can’t do that. So I guess Im just not gonna to talk to her. it would probably do more harm then help.
You have this website to help.. realize this though it’s possible to stop and change our ways but it’s hard to do. If you try don’t give up.
I had a bad day =/ emotionally. I feel like giving up on everything. BUt i know that I can’t. All that kept me going through the day was that I was gonna be able to get on this site and just talk about everything.
and you always have me to comment and talk with. This site helps but i’m starting to feel like i need more than a therapist to be able to stop and it’s starting to scare me. To have a school counselor to tell me if it gets bad at night to call 911 kind of shows that it’s bad.