Anything I would have to honestly say on this blog would have to be edited out of completely abandoned. I am done. I don’t know where me is. I don’t know what the point is. How did I get to this place, ya know? I was doing so well and thought for sure I’d never be down here again. Injuring in the car, carrying tools, my ritualistic habits. I feel so weak and stupid. I don’t want to go ahead with the theray. I don’t want to see anyone or touch anyone or smile or move. I want to sleep all day. I lied about the touch part, I do want a hug. That’s generally wwhat I put in the “what should I be trying to cmmunicate” space in the impulse control logs. No one is gaurenteed tomorrow, especially when you play this game of let’s see if I wake up. I FEEL like I have nothing to live for, but I KNOW better. I keep playing the game though. Everything feels like it’s going wrong and I quit.