It’s interesting how sometimes I can lay on my bed and look up at the ceiling and just not think anything. I see a white slide in my mind, maybe for just a few seconds. But those few seconds, those are my few moments of peace i have during the day. Other times it’s filled with angst, all directed toward my self-injuring addiction. I’ve always felt like giving up, but my sister said something so meaningful to me that I will never be able to forget and I wanted to share it all with you. It was,

“Isabella, pretend you’re running a marathon. I understand it feels like you have no training for this, but you have come so far. Why would you ever want to give up? You’ve been running for so long, who knows? Maybe you’re at your last mile stretch! Just keep going. Keep pushing. I know you feel suffocated in your own thoughts, in your own heartbeat, the heavy, short breaths you take to move each foot. But you just can’t give up. It would be a waste”

I think of every day as a step through my own race. My own marathon. I may be moving at my own pace, but surely I will never give up.