Every meeting i have with the counselor at school she always ends up asking me if i SIed i lasted about 2 weeks and then i did it and i know that if i tell her she’s going to tell my mom and i’m scared. So i lie every week i see her because to her i haven’t done it in a month but really i haven’t done it 2 weeks from today. I haven’t been able to tell her everything yet she asked when i started and how did i get the idea from and all i said was “I don’t know.” Of course i know i just don’t know how to tell her and i’m scared that if she knows i did it once or twice when i was in the 5th grade and restarted it last year chances are she’s going to just tell my mom i’m 18. I feel like if my mom finds out she’s going to look at me different or she’s going to think i’m crazy. Am i crazy ? Everytime i look at my scars i feel stupid but it doesn’t stop me from doing it again and i’m trying. I’m scared that i’m going to end up starting all over again. That if i do it i’ll just be a greater disappointment to everyone than i am now. I’m a good student and i work hard but it’s like i have to maintain this “perfect” daughter and student. I feel stupid feeling this way because i don’t understand it any more.