I almost did it again last night, i had my tool in my hand and i stopped. I just put it down and went to sleep…. it’s still on my dresser right now.
At school we’re doing project centered around raising awareness…. one group’s topic was Teen Self Injury Awareness. When they handed out servey earlier in the year about if you had ever Si.ed or attempted Suicide I had to answer yes to every question, i was sitting in a coner trying to hide my paper, I felt so ashamed. I know that a couple other kids in my class were putting down the same answers but so few people know that I’ve Si.ed. I dont seem like the type of person to do it; my Youth Pastor doesn’t know, most of my friends dont know, none of my teachers know, and my parents only found out in January.
I dont want people to see the scars, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to put down my tool next time. I’m scared.
It’s ok to be scared. I understand feeling out of control and afraid and ashamed. BUT I AM SO PROUD OF YOU that you found the strength to put down your tool and walk away. That is something many of us cannot do at various times. I am 40 and have 5 children and a grandson that it 2. I did not injure as a teen, at least not in the traditional sense. Being a teen is hard enough without the struggle to not injure. Just take it one minute at a time. You were strong enough to put it down once which means you can be strong again!! How did your parents react? Are they supportive? Therapy has been an important part of keeping me safe and there is NO SHAME in getting help if you need it!! This is a great place to vent if you need to —it has kept me from injuring on many occasions.
it is scary when you face somthing like this in your life because theres the fear when you know that one day will come where somthing bad will happen. but the thing is that there are tons of people just like you that you too wouldnt expect that they injure themselves. so you say that your ashamed of this but you shouldnt be! like i said there are so many people who do this and go through the things you do so your not alone. for one im one of those people of hurt themselves and im in the process where im starting to stop because i know its not right but the thing is that somthing like injuring is somthing that is found a lot in teens and is usual and CAN be cured! so dont be ashamed of this because you just one of the millions that will find a day where you’ll be cured. you also said that you dont seem like the person who would seem to injure yourself but the thing is that in the world no one seems like they would injure themselves but they do and like thay always say ” dotn judge a book by its cover” and its true because even if people are friends with you or close to you they will never know your life truly the only person who could know your life from the insid and out is you. so even if you dont look like the person who would injure yourslef you still have that problem and you need to cure that. you mentioned that no one knows about your problem but your parents and sorry to say this but you need to change that. trust me its best if you tell someone who is lose to you because if you do you feel 100 times better because you feel like you were able to get it off of your chest. also if you tell someone who is close to you it gives you a less chance of injuring yourself becasue you would be able to contact that person and talk to them because they know about your problem and they will be able to make you feel so much better because you know that your cared for. so try telling someone and gettin help because you’ll be able to cure this for sure. and if you dont have someone to talk to then you can even e-mail me and trust me im not a creeper because im a girl going through things just like you so send me a message anytime you want. my email is “elainejun14@yahoo.com” so ya send me a message anytime and ill gladly help you and talk to you any time needed. so good luck and ill be praying for you! 😉
I understand everything you said. I’m going through something similar. Nobody know I did it except for a couple of really close friends,including one who decided she doesn’t want to be friends anymore. But I am so extremly proud of you for not self injuring again that night. If you every need to talk, I’m here for you kaitlin_krause@yahoo.com
you can always come to me! Keep up your strength. Pray to God that he will continue to give you the strength.