There are so many different words to describe si. I know its a problem, I know its an illness, i know its wrong..blah blah blah, all of it i get it. But when its refered to as (idk if I can say this??) self mutilation (or SM i guess?) it bothers me. It makes me mad. Id rather be refered to as many other terms that go along with injuring…but SM is so…. harsh. I cant take it when people call it that. It makes my skin prickly and makes me nervous. Idk why. its just another word. its like….harm, injury, etc but when that comes up I cant take it. I want to si when I hear that because it makes me feel stupid for having such a problem. i havnt sied in awhile, to say i havent thought about it is a lie. ive thought about it every waking min. I make sure my tools are with me, yet I havnt used it in a while. which is good. I was worried about being on a diet and sing. Well… i havnt hurt myself in the way I normally would, I guess but I have been controling my food a little too much. idk. im so confused. SI has been everywhere lately and Ive stayed away from it…for the most part. idk. maybe ill have something more rational to say later