I have been harming for a long time. ive been in therapy for eight years so far. every idea and attempt on creating a new coping skill or distraction i have either found a way to make it harm me or it doesnt work. My past is one nightmares cant compare to. 41 years old and i still cant deal with it. my harming is getting worse. i cant give details because i understand triggers. All i can say is that i need help soon. i have therapy thursday and yet again ive got to give an even worse report. its so humiliating and i feel like a freak but when your soul hurts so bad feeling like its being ripped apart and your hearts in pieces because of a pain only a harmer knows we feel we only have one choice. i didnt just wake up this way. i dont want to be this way. i want help. im begging for help. i dont want to be the one who takes my breath away and thats where im heading. i call hotlines and emergency er head drs but in our great state of sc my type of harming doesnt qualify. you have to either be suicidal or homicidal. what if im a danger to myself. for intents and purposes thats not what we are aiming for. im desperate and im crying out for help here. tell me theres more to life than this. tell me a therapist knows how to stop it. dont pump me full of drugs because you dont understand me. learn about me. i have a heart feelings and a mind. i have children and a gf. if not for me please dont let them suffer