So I think im finally ready to get my weight under control. I mean I havent put on any weight in a long time, but im tired of the size I am. My goal is to lose at least 70 pounds, bringing me to a healthy BMI according to the charts online for my age, height and weight. However, I dont know if im mentally ready for it. I should be. I want this. I want to lose the weight more than anything. Ive tried working out and ive tried diets, ive even tried si-ing to keep myself occupied. But this time I think im going to do it the right way. Diet and exsercise. I know ill be tempted to si when I start to work out, i dont know what it is about control of food that makes me want to si. My train of thought goes ” Ok so if i miss a work out I need to si” and i know its a stupid thought, i know i shouldnt think about this, im an adult now, i dont need something like this to keep me on track. But at the same time…. I want it. Im ready for the changes im going to make tomorrow, i have a doctors appointment to get the right lab work done and start a new “me” however, if it makes me si more is that worth it? Idk which way to go with all this. I know losing weight is healthy for me, I know if i ever want to have kids the weight im at now might make me have problems down the road but i might not. So im not sure. Im ready for this though. If I slip with si, Ill just have to keep trying harder. I started a new school and am doing very well at it, im ready for a new me phsycially, maybe itll help me emotionally as well? Hopefully. =]