I feel so misunderstood. I was doing so well but then I got sucked into this stupid eating disorder and now my life is a mess. Everyone knows, but my own parents don’t understand. So I talk to other people which in turn makes my parents angry that I don’t share anything with them. When you stop accusing me, and start trusting me, then maybe I’ll start talking to you. But I doubt that will ever happen. And now I find myself going back to the dark places feeling completely alone, completely misunderstood.
How could things possibly get better? I can’t seem to change my mind sight, and the thoughts keep getting worse. I am tempted to SI everyday, I wonder about ways I could escape this pain and I freak out because I know I’ll regret it. I feel so alone, again. I feel so lost, again. I am hurting, again.
I just want out. I just want my parents to respect me and try to understand that this isn’t easy for me, but I don’t think they ever will. I’m just a screw up and I doubt that they’d really care if I left. Sure, they say they would, they tell me that they love me, but when your told to just go SI, or that even though you told someone about your problems and are trying get help they call you stupid and tell you how much of a screw up you are, you lose hope that they will ever understand.