Yeaahh,
I’ve been injuring for about 2 1/2 years. and I used to want to stop, but now I don’t. I mean, I started thinking about it, and what am I going to do when I stop? what will help? I don’t know, I know I have to stop because this is in no way good for me. I just..don’t know if I can. Am I the only one that thinks like this?? Or is it normal??
No, i think that way too some times. I started seriously self injuring 6 1/2 years ago, before that it was very random, very few and not even had much a purpose to me anyhow. For 2 years i went through a hard time where id do it very often and yes enjoyed it. Well, 5 months after i started i realized how sick of an obsession it was, how it would get me excited just to pick up the one item i needed to do it, so i joined Safe for a while, it helped, especially with logging, but even after it was a battle. until i met someone, id do it all the time, even when i first met them, after a while id do it less and less, the main reason was because I wasnt ALONE, i couldnt get away with it easy, or unnoticed, i would even go as far as washing up when they were gone or asleep so they wouldnt walk in and see injuries. BUT the main reason i barely do it now as to before is i was afraid they would leave, and sometimes i dont even feel the urge. However, honestly, id still probably do it today and probably will again, just like you said. even tho its not considered a good way to live or its a sick obsession, i dont want to stop. so no you arent the only one. I also dont know how to completely stop, i guess not being alone and fear of losing someone dear to you, can scare you out of it sometimes. but it was 2 years after i seriously started, if i met them sooner, i still may have had a hard time doing it not so often. so maybe its also a matter of time, im not sure. sorry for the rambling, but i dont know how else to explain myself. if you want to talk, im here