I recently came to this site after a long road to recovery. I have one tattoo of a cross on my hip, and am considering getting another on my arm, the two places I used to si. The tattoos cover my scars and remind me I’m healthy and happy now. Ideas for my second tattoo were the only reason I revisited this site.
I read a couple of the posts and wanted to let anyone who is willing to listen know, it gets better. No one I know would expect me to si or knew that I did. It started in junior high and was the worst through high school. I was a three-sport varsity captain, in all-school senate, and a scholarship recipient. All the pressure pushed me to si, but I never got any help (I recommend that everyone else does), however with age and maturity I realized what I was doing and simply couldn’t cover it up anymore. Before my reputation could come crashing down, I decided to try to change. Slowly but surely, I did change. Writing and music helped, but most of all, I knowing it was wrong was what helped the most.
Right now, it may seem like you’ve reached your very bottom with no fight left. I know, I’ve been there, but I want YOU to know, it gets better. With no where to go but up, it’ll get better, and as bad as it is right now, it’ll form your future self into a better, more mature person who has the life experience of hitting rock bottom and fighting back. The strength you’ll have, the subtle beauty of your maturity, the independence and confidence are all reasons to fight. Fight for your future self. Fight for your future career and family. Fight. Please fight.
To give you some hope, I wanted to share that I’m a successful 24 year old. I’m living on my own in a wonderful city with an amazing group of friends and family. I’m healthy now. No more si. Happy and healthy as can be. You can to. Get help, get support, and start that road to recovery.
Love to you all!