Im 18. i havent hurt myself perposfully in over a year and a half. i’ve been having nightmares lately of the things i’ve done in the past. My history of sexual abuse has lead to many problems with me and my boyfriend. we keep doing things we shouldnt be because we’re waiting till marriage. after we do those things i feel like i did with my past boyfriends. i didnt love them the way i love my boyfriend of 2 years. i feel wrong and disgusting when this happens. i feel like the girl i used to be before God came into my life. i hate myself so much for hurting Him and my boyfriend…i want to hurt myself. i just dont know how to make it stop.