I went through the S.A.F.E. inpatient program in 2000. I was 22 years ago. That was ten years ago. I had few relapses afterward, and have been injury-free for a few years now.

Until last night. I am going through a horrible mental health emergency. This happened last year, too. It seems I have hypomanic rapid cycling Bipolar….just discovered last year. It’s happened again this year, same time, and I’m panicking.

I feel such shame that I injured last night.

What do you do with that shame? How is there forgiveness?

On top of all that, my 12 year old stepdaughter, who has endured a lot of trauma, recently started self-injuring. I told her my story and made myself available to her, but she has not come to me.

I feel stuck between two worlds. One, the injurer, and two, the supporter.

And then there is the total hatred I feel for myself.

Thank you for reading,