I had a fight with one of my friends today. Her other friend thought I said something bad about my friend, but I didn’t. But my friend won’t listen to me. She knows I SI and I told her that doing this makes me want to SI, but she doesn’t care. This got me wondering, “Who are my real friends?”. Has my friend been lying to me? I was also thinking about all of the people I’ve told about my SI. Some people I thought cared and were my friends, others I accidentally blurted it out (I regret those ones) Out of all the people I’ve told, only one has actually cared. I only started being friends with her in like October. This is a different person than the one I got in a fight with. I should be more careful about who I choose to be my friends. I just want people to care about me. Every morning, I wake up wishing I was someone else. Someone with a great life, someone with no problems. What if I changed from me, to someone better? What if I didn’t SI on the evening of September 25, 2010? How would my life be different? I just want to go back to the day where this all started and stop myself.