Is it possible to be at day -1? I want to be ok. I want to be happy. I want to feel like I’m important. I just want to feel. And I don’t know how to anymore. When I’m si free for a while and I si I get that rush of feelings, that releif, and that’s what I felt yesterday. I woke up this morning wanting that. I woke up needing it. I held off, I made it through work. But now I let in, I needed to be able to relax. 

I know its wrong. I know I need to stop. I know this isn’t the answer to my problems. But … what’s the answer?